This is the place for moms In The Making, who smile with the messes, embrace the unexpected, and know that every day is a blessing.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Dealing with Baby Haters

Have you ever been in the grocery store and someone gave you a rude look and took a jab at your parenting or kid’s behavior? How did you handle someone insulting your family?

There is a moment seared in my memory when I had a cashier explain to my husband and I that there were things that could be done to avoid pregnancy… while I was about 5 months pregnant. I had recently lost a child in a miscarriage so enduring this crass comment killed my soul for weeks.

preggo belly

Living in a small town I see this same cashier over and over again… (obviously avoiding her line at all costs) Last night, while I was checking out of the store, there she was… with an empty line. I however chose the one with people.

me carrying Charlie in store

She proceeded to walk over and ooohhh and ahhh at what an incredible baby I had. How sweet and adorable. I wanted to shout, “No thanks to you, you never wanted us to have this child!”

She clearly has a skewed view of parenthood that prompted her to make her original comment, (reminding me that I could have avoided this pregnancy…) I knew I needed to show joyful motherhood and smile as she fawned over my baby.

Yet, it was so difficult. How could I let her adore my child, when she was so hateful to him while he was in my womb?

How do you respond when someone insults your family?

11 comments:

  1. Aww, that must have been so hard to hear! My family has definitely heard plenty of comments from people who don't like children or babies over the years--my Mom tends to respond with WAY over-done politeness--because it does make her angry when people aren't nice to her kids...her thinking is that if they have any conscience at all, the over-politeness should make them realize that they aren't acting right.
    In one example, right after a plane took off from the ground, the lady sitting in front of my Mom and my 1 year old baby sister turned around and told my mom, "If I hear one noise out of that child I will ask that you be moved to a different seat." Because we have a large family, My mom quickly traded seats to a seat as far away from that woman as possible, and gave me the seat behind the lady. I was a teenager at the time. No sooner had I sat down than she turned around and gave ME the same warning about if I was noisy or bumped her chair she would call the stewardess immediately.

    I only met that lady for a few minutes out of a short flight 10 years ago--and I remember her quite vividly. It's sad, the mark that such people's behavior can leave.

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    1. Ouch! That is so harsh!

      You mom sounds wonderful, that she can still respond with love and joy. Thanks for the story, it is really inspiring.

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  2. I believe it is our enemy trying to get us to feel bad for creating life that Yahweh wants us too.I had a women that worked at the recycling center who rude comments about me being pregnant with my 5th child. She kept on saying something every time I went even when I tried to avoid her. I finally called and complained and then she was nice to me again and actually opened up to me about something that happened in her childhood. I try not to complain but I was really growing weary, I did pray for her as well during this time. This year she saw me at the store and acted like we were old friends and said I should call her and hang out LOL It was just very strange that she insulted my family and then wanted to hang out. The thing is I still have all my children :) and I don't just "hang" out with people and not very often without them but it was just a strange situation. I just think that Satan wants us to feel bad for having the wonderful blessings Yahweh gave us. We must remember.: "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." John 10:10. I don't think people realize they are being used by the enemy and many many times it is their own hurts and disappointments that happened in their life that causes them to react in those ways. Try your best to not take it personally and pray, pray for them.

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  3. And try to show love to the person as best you can

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    1. Amber, that is quite a story... especially that she wants to hang out now :) I think it is beautiful, it shows that even in standing up for your family you were able to be a light of God's love. Your Bible verse was perfect!

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  4. Ahh!! Such a difficult place. I sometimes wonder if people that are baby haters either struggle with their own families, are unable to have children of their own, or are just having a miserable life at the moment. I really try to take a step back and just be friendly. Often they don't accept that, but I try to remember I don't live in their shoes and try (desperately) to put aside my own hurt feelings (and ego). I must say, my temper doesn't always allow a positive response, but it is something I am working on!! And, I love babies!!

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    1. Elizabeth,
      Those are all awesome things to think about :) Thank you so much!

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  5. I think you handled yourself well. Even though I am a Christian I am not that good at holding my comments.

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    1. Michelle... Thank you... it was so hard :) I had to run out of the store :)

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  6. Oh wow--that must have been so hard! Like you I'm sure I'd avoid her for awhile. I'm a people pleaser that doesn't want to rock the boat. She probably won't remember what she said. But maybe talking to her about what happened in a gentle and kind way might be a great way for you to forgive her so you can move on. At the end of the day you have your baby and that's what matters!

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    1. Carrie you're wonderful! I think I would be scared to say something to her... even in a nice way. Have you ever done that? How did it turn out? Thanks :)

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